The Lens You Use

Have you ever felt like the people closest to you don't really see who you're becoming?

Like you're trying to grow, but they only remember who you were?

I've been there, and it cost me more than I would like to admit.

There are over 8 billion people on the planet.

Why stay inside the same small circle?

What I've found is that sometimes the people closest to us can become the hardest people to share our dreams with.

When someone has known you for years, they often see you through the lens of who you used to be.

They remember your past mistakes, your failures, and the times you didn't follow through.

It can make it hard for them to see the person you're trying to become.

In most cases, it feels like they want you to fail or at least not be better than them.

Even I'm Guilty of This

Even I'm guilty of this.

About 8 years ago, I ran into an old friend from school. We'll call him E.

We weren't super close, but we ran in the same circles.

At the time, I was working my 9-5 while working on a few side ventures.

E said, "It's been a long time. We should connect."

I agreed, and we exchanged numbers.

Sure enough, within 24 hours, he contacted me and told me about his newest venture.

E was always a hustler, and I admired that about him.

You could say the song Hustlin' by Rick Ross had nothing on E.

I was interested.

I don't remember the exact upfront investment, but I knew I already had a lot on my plate.

With two young children, I wasn't sure I could make it work.

Needless to say, we lost touch.

I continued on my journey, and E continued on his.

Over the next few years, I consumed a lot of social media, listening to strangers tell me they had the next best thing.

It resonated with me because I had no history with them.

I didn't grow up with them.

I didn't have a reason to question what they were showing me.

But E was different.

He was someone I knew.

We were equals.

How could he teach or mentor me?

I spent thousands of dollars over the next few years, while E continued building the dream he had once tried to include me in.

Two years ago, a mutual friend was getting married.

He and E had been much closer growing up.

I found out that E had flown him and his fiancée to Monaco as a wedding present on a private jet.

I was stunned.

I was happy for him, but I was also disappointed in myself.

I wanted to reach out and congratulate him, but it felt disingenuous.

It reminded me of the story about the chicken who wanted to bake bread and asked the other barnyard animals for help.

Nobody wanted to help until they smelled the fresh bread.

Being an entrepreneur is about choices.

You choose who you want to work with, and they choose you.

It is a two-way street.

The lesson I learned is that sometimes the people we expect to rise with us may not see the same vision.

And sometimes we are the ones who fail to see what someone else is becoming.

The lens we use determines what we are able to see.

Sometimes you have to find the people who see the person you are becoming instead of the person you used to be.

One day, those who couldn't see it may be standing by the kitchen window smelling the fresh-baked bread, wishing they had listened sooner.